pandaoverthemoon:

Pandora puts her arm around JJ, puts her head on his shoulder, and rubs his arm consolingly. “Thanks Panda. I just feel like a complete tosser. I didn’t mean to, I really didn’t. I still love her. But, it was a lot of things. She was sick, so I couldn’t see her. I was horny. I wanted to feel loved. Plus…” JJ continues to shift his eyes, knowing the next revelation will probably shock Panda. “Plus, one of them made me feel especially good. Different good. I…slept with a guy. I still love being with girls, but I think I’m into guys too now. Or at least this one. And here’s the kicker, it’s Cook’s half-brother.” JJ wonders how Pandora would take that, since she slept with Cook and all.

“Don’t. You aren’t a tosser, JJ, we all fuck up. Majorly…things get better.” She said, hoping to make him feel better and stop worrying. But he mentioned sleeping with a guy and her head popped up, wide-eyed as she looked incredulously at him. “JJ, woah!” But her look of surprise slowly morphed into a smile. “Sorry, it was just…mega surprising! If he makes you feel good, then I am happy for you, dear friend of mine.” But then he mentioned Cook. The conversation always seems to go back to cook when I am around, doesn’t it? Why does everyone feel the need to mention him when talking to me? Her smile faltered a bit, but Pandora tried not to show it, forcing the smile back onto her face. “Uhm, Rennie…right?” She had met him the other day and he seemed like a pretty amazing person, so Panda was sincerely happy that JJ felt good around him.

Pandora’s reaction was just as enthusiastic as expected. He smiles, just a little bit. Despite Cook calling him GayJ all of these years, it does seem out-of-character for him to have sex with a guy. He furrows his eyebrows; he didn’t know Panda knew Rennie. “Yeah, Rennie.” JJ sighs, “Liv won’t talk to me. I don’t know if she’s still sick or she just doesn’t want to speak to me. I want to tell her what happened, but I’ve done everything I can to reach her. Rennie, he says he loves me. But he seems scared of relationships. I just want to know what we have will last. And that last person, Lucy, I think I made her mad. Damned if I know how. So it’s less of who I want to be with and more about if anyone even wants to be with me. Naomi is right, she and I hurt everyone we touch.” Maybe they’ll all just leave me. But Claud…maybe I could pursue him at the end of this madness.

(Source: themagicman, via whitneysnow-deactivated20120105)